Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,
which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as :
· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6
simply crashes the system.
· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland
try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to
install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If that application works as designed ,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application
can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 ..
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will
eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0-program These are unsupported
applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program,
but it does have limited memory and cannot learn
new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory
and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!
Tech Support
Laughed so hard at this one!
Notice they forgot to add “evaluate carefully before adding Baby 1.0 or 2.0 to system as eventual breakdown of current operating program could cause severe irrepeairable damage to all units.”