My daughter was the sweetest angel. I was such a proud mom when I gave birth to her! It was a great pleasure to have a child! She was so loving, sweet and affectionate! We were always having a wonderful time together. We were playing, reading, learning and snuggling together. All the years from her birth, to childcare, to school age I was thinking that to be a mom is like being in the heaven with an angel. I would never even think that one day it could change…
The transition from an adorable child to a teenager was like a thunderstorm in the middle of a sunny day! One day my little angel just decided that she grew up and could do everything by herself. She thought that she knows what is best to do after school, how to choose friends, and what TV program to watch, etc. She is still listening to me about school and health issues but has become totally independent about her private life decisions. My daughter’s adolescence was a shock to me in the beginning. Fortunately, I have read books about teens learned that I do not have to survive it. Instead, I have a tremendous opportunity to forge new connections between us. I realized that I couldn’t treat her as a little girl anymore. I have to give her an opportunity to grow, mature and become an independent woman. We are still spending our mother/daughter time together but in different ways.
I would suggest to moms who are having a hard time adjusting to their teens become better friend to with them and give them a chance to grow up. You should prepare yourself that it won’t be easy but it is worth it. Very often children in their adolescence act unpredictable and not respectful. I remember one morning we had a great breakfast and a very intimate conversation. I felt that we had a real connection. Two hours later she came to my room to borrow some of my clothes and said while looking at me” I think you gained a lot of weight and this lipstick makes you so old. By the way, can you drive me to my friend’s house?”
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Having teenagers can be some of the most difficult and rewarding years of parenting. I always think of the younger years as the dress rehearsal, because the real show begins when they are teens. I am no expert but from everything I have been told, teens do not need parents to be a “friend” they have friends. They may not admit it, but they really want a parent. A great book is “Parenting Teens with Love and Logic”.