My daughter wants to be everyone’s friend. She’s a natural! At the same time, she can have her feelings hurt if she is excluded - she doesn’t understand why anyone would want to shut her out!

I have to encourage her to find the right sort of friends, who will build her up and appreciate her for who she is. Some little girls only want to play with others who wear the same jacket or have expensive bracelets. That’s OK, I told my daughter it is their loss.

Then she found another little girl who didn’t have the fancy bracelet either, and they got to be best friends!

My little boy is the shy one. He is never sure if he should talk to other kids, because he is afraid they will not like him. He finally made friends with a little boy who was shy too - he was from Israel and the other kids made fun of the way he talks.

My son told me the other boy was crying, and I asked him if he thinks the little boy could use a friend. The next day the teacher told me that they played together at recess and ate lunch together. From then on they were always together!

The little boy moved to another school district last year, and my son was the only one from our school who got invited to his birthday party. My daughter still talks to her friend on the phone, even though they will be in different classes this year.

I’m glad both of my kids have made such good friends!

Learning to be social is a part of growth development that takes time to show! My daughter is an extremely friendly child - the kind that starts up a conversation with anyone, invites them to her birthday party, and reminds them they will need to bring a present!

You know what that is like if you have social children too! You love the fact that they aren’t shy, and secretly worry that they will try to befriend the wrong person. You have to let them grow, however, and being able to interact socially will help them a lot when they start school.

Then there are the other children of the family, that are almost painfully self conscious. My littlest boy has decided he doesn’t like people. Little old ladies who try to chuck him under the chin are met with squinched up eyes and a mournful puckered mouth. If they persist, he pretends he is a baby coyote and goes  “Oawoooooohh!” (Then everyone laughs, which just makes him madder!)

That’s OK! He will outgrow it, if I insist on taking him with me to the store and on errands, and not giving in to his shyness. My middle son was shy too, but he got over it. I took him to several mothers day out and bible school programs at churches the summer before he started kindergarten, and he quickly learned how to make friends.

As long as you expose your child to sociable situations, they can learn how to be more sociable. They all just do it in their own time! So don’t worry if one is outgoing and another shy. They will each grow at their own pace.

Sarah P.

My college years were some of the freest, happiest moments of my life! College years hold no obligations other than those of studying hard and being a good student. I was lucky enough to make great friends at college, and as time has passed we have managed to keep in touch with each other across the years and miles that separate us.

We grew up, got married, had children and started careers. Adult life arrived with all of its obligations and responsibilities, and we each moved forward. All of us are happy now, in our respective lives; we each have our own projects and passions to keep us busy. We live far apart, but we make that extra effort to keep the lines open, and meet every two to four years to catch up on each other’s lives!

When we get together we always have a wonderful time laughing and joking - in a way it is as if no time has passed. That is not to say we don’t have our problems, but we share them with humor too - it is just so good to be together!

I just flew back a week ago from my college reunion. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world! I had such a wonderful time and came back reborn, full of new energy and all my stress gone. On the plane I couldn’t stop thinking of how important it is to keep the old friendships alive.

New friends are terrific, but old friends are unique. My best friends are still my oldest friends; I’m not sure we ever connect as deeply again as we do in our college days. Remembering where we come from is a great way to move forward, and so I do - knowing my friends will always be there to cheer me on!