You want your child to have plenty of friends. You also want them to have good friends, who help them grow and make their lives richer! You want them to treat their friends with respect, and be respected by their friends as well.
Well, you need to make sure you are setting the right example in the friends you surround yourself with! You expose your children to the people and relationships you have in your own life, so making sure you are a good role model when it comes to friendship is important.
Look at your own circle of friends. Is there one who always cancels that lunch date without notice, or expects you to be the one who picks up the tab or provides the ride? Or maybe you have a friend who only wants you as a shoulder to cry on, and is too wrapped up in themselves to see that maybe sometimes you could use one too.
Your child can definitely pick up on stuff like that! Think about it - you wouldn’t want them playing with a child that never lets them go first, or insists that they always have to be the villain and never the hero. You want friends for your child that will make their lives better, and the friendship should always go in both directions!
You can help your child learn about friendship by letting them know why you like this friend so much - or why you stopped hanging out with that one. (Of course, be careful; it could be embarrassing to run into them at the store and have your child blurt out “Mommy stopped going out with you because you are always cranky!”)
You can point out the value of good friends by saying, “I like Jenny as a friend because she is patient. I am not so patient, so it helps me to have a friend to remind me how!” This will show your kids that friends can help and teach each other, and make up for each others weaknesses.
Hopefully you and your child will always be surrounded by good, strong friends!
I am lucky - I have many good friends, and their kids are freinds with my kids. I know many people do not live in such small towns and have that sense of community, so they have to work harder to find and keep good friends!
Hallie