You know that program about kids who say the darnedest things? Here’s my own gem, from a few years back…
Our washer had broken down and the part was on order, so I found myself at the Laundromat one Sunday afternoon. I was hugely pregnant with my second child, and had my 18 month old daughter in tow.
My little girl was really good at the Laundromat. Didn’t run up and down and make me chase her, like a lot of the other moms were having to chase their kids. Didn’t try to get into the soap, or drag the dry clothes I was folding down off the table.
I was proud. So when I was almost ready to leave, I gave her a quarter to put in the little toy machine by the door. You know the kind - you put a coin or two in, twist the handle and a little plastic capsule drops out into your hand, which you subsequently chip a nail trying to open.
She diligently inserted her two bits, and solemnly cranked the handle. The plastic ball was blue, and after I forced it open a little black thing about an inch and a half long dropped into my palm. I had to look at it to realize it was a tiny replica of a pistol.
Well, we didn’t really have toy guns in our house. Daddy had a hunting rifle and a shotgun, but they were kept under lock and key. I wasn’t sure she would even know what it was. I was sooo wrong.
She grabbed from my hand and whirled to face the room. Planting her feet slightly apart, she held the pretend gun in both hands, using the perfect teacup grip well known to FBI academy graduates.
“Put your hands on the car!” she bellowed. Heads turned and jaws dropped across the crowded space. “Put your hands on the car! Do it! NOW!!!”
About fifty people cracked up. I think I saw one guy actually fall out of his chair, he was laughing so hard. I rushed my innocent little future law enforcement officer out to the car pronto.
She had obviously spent wayyy to much time with Daddy that weekend watching re-runs of COPS!
What’s the funniest thing your kid ever said? Share, please!
Best,
Sarah P.
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My kids watch the Discovery channel with Daddy, and my son came up to me very seriously and said, “Mommy, we were watching a doctor-mintery and there were some poison snakes, and some non-poison snakes. It was a really good doctor-mintery.”
It took me forever to figure out he meant ‘documentary’!!!